So I know it's been a while since I've posted anything, but I've been feeling like my normal self again and for the first time in a long time, things other than the TV & computer have been keeping me busy! Sure, I miss my morning ritual of The Price Is Right but I started to realized that yoga & socializing were probably much better hobbies to have. Before I explain where I am now, I want to take you all back a few weeks to where I left off from the last post....
Back on November 11th, I took a moment of silence for our fallen soldiers and then another moment for myself. Today was one month since the CCSVI procedure. A lot has happened since I've started this journey and as I become more in tune with my body & myself, I become more appreciative of the things in life I may have taken for granted in the past. I appreciate the fact that I can get up every day and fight, and ever though I may have to fight harder on some of those days, at least I'm still getting up. I think I've finally gotten the basics drilled into my head: as long as I keep my water intake up, eat well and rest when I'm tired, things are more likely to go my way.
I've been scheduled for an appointment with my neurologist for November 15th. She hasn't seen me since late August when I had my relapse and when she officially took me off work "until further notice". This upcoming appointment is suppose to be a re-assessment of my MS & my condition post-relapse and a chance for us to discuss the nasty drug options she gave me in the Fall. Personally, I've been dreading this appointment from the day I decided to go to California for treatment... a treatment that most all neurologists have been so close-minded to that they refuse to discuss it with their patients at all. (I've heard stories from people who've gone to their neuros after treatment for CCSVI and have been laughed at for "jumping on the bandwagon" and "wasting all that money") My neurologist in particular has never supported the theory of CCSVI. I know this because I have MS friends who go to her as well. I've never had the CCSVI conversation with her - mostly because I'm chicken-shit - haha! Once I made up my mind that I wanted to be treated, I didn't want to be talked out of it and I think that's what would have happened if I had discussed my plans with her. To me, I always thought doctors were suppose to know & have all the answers when it comes to a patients health... but if I've learnt anything other the past year, it's that they don't. And even more disappointing than that, one doctors opinion/method can very easily contradict another doctors opinion/method. So in the end, you do what I did - close your eyes, go with your gut and hope for the best!
I literally couldn't eat or sleep the day before my appointment, I was so nervous. Along with not knowing how she'd react, like I've told you before, she's the one who basically has a huge say in me getting my ATC medical back. What if she was so furious that she wouldn't assess me for work? What if she yells at me and I cry in her office? What if she puts me back to work immediately when I'm really not ready for the shift work yet? I didn't know how I was going to have this conversation and I was freaking out! I decided from the beginning that the truth would be the only option and I'll always stand by my decision to have this done. And good thing I did because the appointment couldn't have gone any better. When the words finally came out of my mouth, she didn't yell & scream & punch me in the face, like I dreamed the night before. She didn't look surprised at all. She barely even looked away from the computer she was typing on. Without missing a beat, she asked when? and where?, then asked how I felt now compared to before. She asked if I was put on blood thinners and then continued on with my regular check up. I told her about my concerns and anxiety about getting back to work and she eased my mind about all that as well. She explained how getting back on a normal schedule will mostly likely be tiresome and maybe even stressful, so she wanted me to check with NavCanada in regards to maybe working part-time/half-days so that I could gradually ease myself back into a full-time ATC shift-working schedule in about 8 weeks time. I got everything I wanted from the appointment and more! The stress of having that CCSVI secret between us was now gone and the anxiety I was having concerning my return to work had been addressed, with a plan in place.
Today turned out to be a great day, as I left the Health Science with a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Sheldon and I booked a last-minute trip to Cuba to celebrate both my good report at the doctor and him finally being done training as an Air Traffic Operations Specialist (ATOS) with NavCanada... a much needed celebration if you ask me!
Hola from Cuba 1 week later!
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